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YogaDawg's Yoga Survey

 

Fellow YogaDawgs and Loyal Readers,

In the time that the YogaDawg website first appeared on the internet, the site has grown exponentially, offering wary yogis the pleasure of experiencing transcendental humor in a jaded yoga world. Due to the efforts of Guru YogaDawg, humor is now an accepted part of yoga, establishing itself firmly in yogis, yoga studios and in popular yoga rags such as Yoga Journal. What once was a dreary landscape full of self-indulgent, self-possessed, smug and sanctimonious practitioners is now a wonderland of happy, laughing carefree yogis.

In an attempt to make this site even better and more accessible, please complete this short survey form. When completed, mail form to:

YogaDawg Productions
Postal Drop 419
Ebola Okei-Dokei Street
Lagos, NIGERIA

Please tell us a little about yourself by circling the most appropriate answer that would best describe you in the following statements:

1. I am a yoga star. When faced with mere yoga poses, I tend to levitate in the air.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

2. I just look at the pictures on the website because I don’t get any of this YogaDawg stuff.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

3. I like to practice yoga in public places. The thing is that I do this naked. After being arrested so many times, I’m starting to think there is something wrong with this picture.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

4. I do Pilates so I have no idea why I am answering these questions. How the hell did I get here?

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

5. When doing yoga, I am transported to the planet Zeeza and begin to make funny clicking sounds. Other people in the class look at me funny.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

6. R is out of town making another yoga video. YogaDawg, please call me, I’m lonely…C

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

7. What’s with the squat toilets in India? That’s so gross!!

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

8. When I laugh I start sneezing.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

9. My bodacious booty in class causes a lot of attention during downdog.*

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

10. I am a poodle

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

* Enclose photo of your booty with survey

Now please circle the best response to the following statements regarding the YogaDawg website so we can make it even more entertaining or whatever::

1. I mention your site to hot yoginis in class so they will be attracted to me, but I only seem to attract gay losers.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

2. My yoga teachers warned me about the YogaDawg web site and pleaded with me to stay away from it but I did not listen. Now all I want to do is Pilates. I want to regain my yoga innocence back.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

3. I have developed warts, acid indigestion, and trapped wind since visiting the YogaDawg site.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

4. When I visit you site, I feel dirty and used. I feel I need to shower immediately afterwards.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

5. The site sux, ain’t funny, is really gay, stupid, and I want to kill you.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

6. Usually I visit the site with friends and family members while we sit on yoga mats. I notice that my mat smells kind of funky afterwards.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

7. The YogaDawg website turned me into an angry leprechaun.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

8. Pleeze, no Ingelish. I no undastanda u.

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

9. While browsing your site, I laughed so hard that I accidently knocked the computer out the window and it was smashed to smithereens. Can you buy me another one since you are responsible for this mess?

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

10. I have an urge to pee on the keyboard. Did I mention that I’m a poodle?

(Circle one)
Duh!
Yeah, right!
Whatever!
Wait, what?

 

 

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I cracked up when I saw the bald picture of me in YogaDawg. Thanks for making me laugh and affirming why I shouldn't cut my hair.... - Seane Corn, Yogi

Your web site is brilliant. Thank you, thank you, thank you... - Vanda Mikoloski (Quantum Comedienne)

Your site is like a yoga tonic with a welcome twist of humor. Yippeeee! - Jill Miller

 

 

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