Yoga Wisdom from a Yoga Don

An Iyengar class looks like a Santa Monica sex shop with all those props.

They make so many stupid things in America.

We are a totally fucked up society.

What are they eating for breakfast on Jupiter?

The whole Bikram class is one big brainwashing session.

I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each.

Nobody fucks with me.

America’s biggest problem is too much freedom.

Western people can’t meditate. In India people really can’t meditate either.

When in Rome, I must do as the Romans do. When in America, copyright and trademark.

I'm feeling sleepy, because I haven't gone shopping for a long time.... I haven't bought a car for two years—no, I bought a car last month, the fancy new Chrysler.

I should be the most honored man in your country.

Don't throw up on the carpet. It's new.

Why are your legs spread? Women should not spread their legs any time, anywhere! Only in emergencies.

Downward Facing Dog? That’s not yoga. That’s American circus.

I control my kingdom like a gangster. It’s the only way it works. In America your biggest problem is you have a second choice. So you have an abuse of choices and too much freedom. It’s like a loaded gun in a kid’s hand

How many Rolls-Royce do I own? I don’t know. 35? I give every staff member of mine a car, something like a Jeep Cherokee. I have 17 vans.

American Yoga teachers are clowns. Circus clowns. They completely fucked yoga. They crucified hatha yoga in America. There is no yoga called kundalini, power, vinyasa, dog yoga.

Who the fuck is this YogaDawg? He's the only guru in America besides me who is not a joke.

White Hat Don: I should be the most honored man in your country.

Black Hat Don: Nobody fucks with me.

YogaDawg Don: Hi