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The Mumbler

The Mumbler speaks during class, but you are unable to understand a word she is saying. This teacher either speaks so low that no one can hear her, garbles what she is saying, or a combination of both. This makes it impossible to figure out what you are supposed to be doing during the class. If you look at her while she is talking, you may notice that the Mumbler suddenly stops moving her lips and stares directly at you. This throws you off because, having no idea what she just said, you don’t know what to do. If caught accidentally in this situation, Guru YogaDawg suggests you try one of the following techniques: shake your head yes or no, smile and look away, or pray she looks at someone else. The Mumbler may impart some profound yoga knowledge, but it will be impossible to know, as it will be cloaked in a murmur.

You will find that the Mumbler occasionally turns the class into sheer chaos. Since no one can hear or understand her, the students will act thoroughly confused. Not knowing what to do, the students will start doing poses differently from everyone else; one student might be doing Head Stand while another is in Side Plank and yet a third snoring serenely in Corpse Pose. You might even see a student walking out the door because they thought they heard that the class was over.

TIP: Never follow your fellow students in a Mumbler class. They are as clueless as you are as to what is supposed to be going on.


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