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The Exotic Dancing Shakti

 

You will recognize this type of teacher by her beads and bangles when she shows up for class. The Exotic Dancing Shakti teacher looks and sounds like a belly dancer and usually calls her style of yoga “Fusion something or other.”

The Exotic Dancing Shakti starts class in the fetal position. Soft sounds play through the studio sound speakers—womb-like sounds of gurgling and sloshing water. A slow rumbling noise grows until it culminates in a grand explosion of sound. At that point, the Exotic Dancing Shakti reaches her hands up to the sky and begins to shudder and shake. She becomes possessed with the heebie-jeebies and does a Saint Vitus dance. The Exotic Dancing Shakti then begins to move like a hyena, slither like a snake, and does a war dance like a Native American warrior while wrestling with cave bears, mastodons, and snow leopards. The Exotic Dancing Shakti eventually transmutes into a trance state like that of a Haitian Zombie. All the while the beat of primal drumming plays through the studio speakers.

The Exotic Dancing Shakti sings in strange languages and emits reptilian or chirping sounds; she may even speak in tongues. If you happen to look at her at this point, you might notice that she is dressed in some ethnic costume of world culture or may even be naked while riding a white horse through the studio. She ends class with a jig, a polka, or the hokey-pokey while howling like a wild banshee. You will feel like a bit of an idiot as you try to follow the Exotic Dancing Shakti through her movements. You may also wonder what this has to do with yoga.

 

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F'n hilariousPatricia

Your insight and humor had me laughing out loud several times. - Lynda Carre

 


   

 

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