Yoga Teachers

The Old Guard  

The Old Guard doesn’t go in for any of the New Age, artsy-fartsy, hippy-dippy yoga nonsense that is so popular in today’s yoga world. There is no music, no candles, no partner work, no smiling, and no, absolutely no, assisting in poses. The Old Guard addresses the female students as “missy” and the males as “you there.” If you don’t take him seriously or happen to do a pose incorrectly, he will pull your ears, punch you in the eye, hit your palms with a ruler, or even put you over his knee for a spanking.

The Old Guard is usually a retired elementary school teacher. When he gets angry with a student, he banishes them from the class to sit in the waiting area next to the receptionist until the class is over.

Yoga Teacher

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