Yoga Teachers

The Guru

This type of teacher is not quite a Yoga Star but is well on the way to becoming one. There are two ways that the Guru can achieve Yoga Star status: start their own Yoga school or wait for the current Yoga Star to die. The first method is preferable as the latter entails much maneuvering among the other Guru teachers to gain the mantle of being the new Yoga Star of that particular school. The Gurus will begin to quote extensively from the Yoga Star, reminisce about how great they were, give dates and times they have studied with them and even begin to pull out old photos of themselves taken with the Yoga Start at some nebulous time in the past.

So how do you recognize a Guru teacher when you take a Yoga class? Actually it’s quite simple because the first thing that you will notice is the assorted assistants and fawning students gathered around them as they teach the class. You will even notice a couple of groupies in the first row of mats set up before them. A important thing to remember if you are thinking of taking a class from a Guru teacher: they don‘t teach the class, the assistants do. The purpose of the Guru is to simply be there to draw as many students as possible into the Yoga studio.

It is important that the Guru teacher maintain a tight rein on discipline. There will be no good times here as they are convinced that this is serious stuff, this Yoga. You will be told “I say, you do” (kind of like a game of “Simon Says”). You will be told to ask no questions. You are expected to simply submit to their will and commands. If you have taken any Yoga before, you will be told to forget everything you learned as all previous Yoga training is null and void if learned for from other rival Guru teachers.

The Guru teacher lives for the moment when a student would be foolish enough to ask a question. When that happens, they will stare at the student with a slight, devilish smile and a bit of glee. As there will be some students that have taken classes with the Guru before, you might notice that some of them are looking back and forth at each other. They will look at the teacher and back to the student in anticipation and glee. They know that the Guru teacher is about to go in for the kill, as the teacher will remark sarcastically “I say, you do! What's the part of that that you don’t understand”? You will hear giggling from the assistants and some of the students.

TIP: Avoid any Yoga teacher that lacks a sense of humor and takes themselves or their Yoga too serious. After all, it’s only Yoga.

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