Yoga Students
The Rat Pack
The Rat Pack makes themselves known by their ceaseless chatter as they make their way into the reception area of the studio. They are oblivious to their surroundings as they babble on their cell phones, and they stay close to each other as they tend to suffer from separation anxiety. The Rat Pack enters the classroom and picks a back corner to set up their mats as they continue to yammer away. Don’t bother trying to listen to what they are saying. You won't have a clue; it is gibberish. When told that no cell phone calls are allowed in the studio, they immediately start text messaging. You will then hear them tapping insanely on their phones.
The Rat Pack stumbles into yoga class after seeing an article in the Sunday style section of the newspaper. Yoga happened to be mentioned in the "What to do on the Weekend" section. They have already tried rock climbing (too hard, too boring) and tubing (too wet, ruined their cell phones), but doing the new-bar thing is always great fun for the Rat Pack. They have somehow concluded that yoga should be a blast.
As the class begins the Rat Pack is reminded to put their cell phones away and stop chattering to each other. Shortly thereafter, individual members of the Rat Pack start to develop symptoms of social withdrawal. They become wobbly and begin to weave and bob on their mats. They have a glazed look on their faces as the strain of not talking begins to take its toll on the pack. Some Rat Pack students have been known to simply seize up and fall to the ground.
Inner Dialog: This is so much fun. I wonder who is calling me. Nice ass on that guy! I've got to call Bob and tell him I can't make it to the bar because the girls and I are going to the vegetarian restaurant after class. The article in the style section said that vegetarian restaurants are fun. Oh, there's the teacher. You don't look that hot, but I love those yoga clothes you’re wearing. What do you mean turn off our cell phones? WTF? We can't even talk? What kind of BS is that? Okay, I guess we'll have to shut up since no one else is talking. What’s up with them? A bunch of social misfits obviously. Damn, not talking is hard shit. I'm starting to feel woozy. I need to talk. I need to text message. I need social interaction. This yoga stuff sucks. I’m glazing over. Damn, I think I'm starting to faint.…
Tip: The Poser, $1,000 Classer, Spoiler, and Rat Pack tend to be Yips while the Freeloader, Old Fart, Matriarch, and Stinky are most likely Yogs.
Yoga Students
