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Yoga Quiz

Find out what kind of Yogi you are. You might just be the Yoga freak that you read about and would explain why you are alienating the people around you.



1. Does chanting Om in Yoga class make you feel like an idiot?

No way!
What's an Om??
Only at studios where there are no trendy Om symbols.
Those bastards better know Sanskrit before they start chanting shit!
F'in-A!!


2. Are Yoga class prices too expensive?

My husband pays for my classes. What do I know about expensive?
Yes. I'll have to cut back on McDonalds to take classes.
Yes, but thank God I have a really cool and trendy job.
Outragous! Those SOBs are ripping off Yoga!!
F'in-A!!!


3. Do you gag when you see Yogis wearing Lululemon or Gaiam Yoga clothing?

No way!
I shop at Target.
I buy all my clothes from gay Yoga designers working in the East Village.
You have a problem with my loin cloth??
F'in-A!!


4. What do you hate about Yoga?

The women in the classes are real stuck-up bitches!
The Ashtangis always beat me up.
All the untrendy, classless slobs who do it.
All the cool, tight and trendy pimp-celebrity post-mod BoBos who do it.


5. When you open Yoga Journal, do you want to barf??

I love all the cute ads and things to buy in there.
I love the hot Yoga babes on the cover.
It's kind of gay!
I use it to wipe my butt.
F'in-A!!!


6. Do you channel T. Krishnamacharya during Yoga class?

I wear Chanel #5.
What???
I channel whoever will get me noticed by my tight and trendy yoga peeps.
I am T. Krishnamacharya!!
F'in-A!


7. Does the music that is played in Yoga class suck?

I love the bells and gong stuff.
It makes me peaceful.
Outside of Dave Stringer and David Newman, the music sucks big time.
If they continue to play that crap, I'm going to take my loin cloth off and stick it in my ears!!


8. Do you own a YogaDawg t-shirt?

Low class crap. I wouldn't be caught dead in that stuff!
Several. They are on sale at K-Mart, 2 for $10.00!
WTF!!??? I just paid $123.98 for one at the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore!!!
F'in-A!!!!!


9. What do you do before class while you’re waiting for your teacher to arrive?

My nails.
Check out the hot Yoga chicks.
See who's checking me out.
Perform ritual sacrifices with my body lice.


10. Do you own a Black Manduka or a YogaDawg 'It Ain't Lavender" Yoga Mat?

I have the cutest pink thing that goes with my Yoga togs.
I have the supersized one from WalMart.
You know I do!
Screw that mat crap. I practise on burning coals.


11. Do the words, "Okay class, pick a partner for this next pose", make you cringe with disgust?

Only if it's with a smelly, dirty hippie.
How come no one wants to be my partner?
I don't like people touching my tight and trendy Yoga gear.
Are you into naked Yoga??
F'in-A!!


12. Do you feel like an idiot taking this quiz?

The one you ripped off from Yoga Journal is much cuter.
Is this a trick question?
WTF!!??
Another degradation of Yoga.
F'in-A!!




 

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