YogaDawg - Yoga News


	EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine Yoga News Feed All the Yoga related news that gives Yogis the fits. Yoga Adjustments Banned in Kansas Frank Zappato For Yoga World News Report In a move that is sure to galvanize the Yoga community, Kansas legislators voted yesterday to ban Yoga adjustments throughout the state of Kansas. By an overwhelming vote, Kansas legislators passed a law to ban Yoga adjustments in the state that includes criminal penalties of up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. Vote count on the bill introduced by Kansas representative Peggy Longgosa (R-Madison) was 112-10 in the House and 36-4 in the Senate. Rep. Longgosa pushed the legislation after learning that not only were Yoga students being touched in Yoga classes across the state, but in some cases, were actually engaged in "partner Yoga". "We are sickened by this and we have stepped forward to protect the good citizens of Kansas". Kansas is the only state in the U.S. to pass a specific criminal law banning Yoga adjustments, which until the November ban was ineffectually covered by the state anticruelty law. A Kansas legislator who tried to stall the bill (Rep. Bill Stillborn, D-Garnett) ultimately agreed that Yoga adjustments should be outlawed in Kansas, and voted for the final version of the bill, which is expected to be signed into law by Kansas Governor Bill Graves. Aberrant behavior such as this is now banned in Kansas Pistol Packin’ Yoga Tex of San Antonio For The San Antonio Yoga Gazette A new variation of Yoga made its appearance recently when a Yogi in Texas initiated the world’s first gun mandatory Yoga studio. This studio requires all Yogis to carry a loaded weapon while practicing within the studio. Earl of San Antonio, President of the Texas Association of Male Practitioners of Yoga known as TAMPOY (see Yoga Declared 'Not Gay") has initiated this guns only policy in his YoGuy Yoga studio because, as he explained, “I want to insure that Yoga studios don’t turn into defenseless shooting galleries. There are too many crazies, criminals and terrorists out there. I mean let’s face it, even some of those Yoga students coming to class don’t seem quite right in the head. It’s the ones with the lavender mats and pastel colored Yoga clothes that have me most concerned.” Earl has developed a unique series of Yoga poses that seem to concentrate on the Yogi’s inner gun-fighter. The poses include the: PistolPackingMamanasana TriggerHappyansana ShotInTheFootasana LockAndLoadasana OKCoralasana SonOfAGunasana PistolWhippedasana ItchyTriggerFingerasana StickUmUpasana BangBangasana NRAsana PassTheAmmoasana KillBambiasana WhenGunsAreOutlawedOnlyOutlawsWillHaveGunsasana When asked if a Yogi could practice in the studio if they don’t own a weapon, Earl replied, “Who the hell in America doesn’t own a gun? That’s the craziest ass shit I ever heard.” Yogis practising ItchyTriggerFingerasana Yoginis practising NRAsana Earl of San Antonio teaching the finer points of StickUmUpasana. Press Release - Movie Box Office Success - The One True Yoga Betty Boopinski For Yoga Entertainment Weekly Helped by legions of Yogis, YogaDawg's Yoga action movie, "The One True Yoga" rose to top the weekend's domestic box office among plenty of competition. The picture took in $18.9 million in 3,465 engagements for a per-screen average of $7,747. That was enough to edge out "Leatherheads" which opened at No. 2 with $16.1 million from 2,678 playdates. "The One True Yoga" dug into "Leatherheads" shimmer as both pictures aimed to draw primarily male audiences. But "The One True Yoga" won the weekend by also bringing in an amazing amount of Yoginis (female practitioners of Yoga) as word of mouth about this Yoga movie made its way through Yoga studios around the world with the word that YogaDawg, himself, would be appearing in the film. "We see this as the blog conversation or water-cooler conversation of the week," said YogaDawg distribution head Carlson Venuten of the picture's crossover appeal. "This film is so creative, so fresh and different. There's so much competition that in this marketplace you have to delineate yourself". Starring Ana Forrest as the Temptress, BKS Iyengar as the King, Ana Brett as the Exotic Virgin, Bikrum Choudary as the Court Jester (Rodney Yee was the original choice for Court Jester but it was decided that he would have trouble transitioning between the small screen of Yoga videos to the big screen) and YogaDawg himself as the Wandering Student Yogi; this film chronicles the journey of a new student of Yoga through the wily world of Yoga Schools and studios. Fighting hypocrisy and rampant commercialism of the Yoga world, YogaDawg fights pitched battles with the founders of Yoga schools, Yoga Zealots and 200 hour teacher trained Yoga Teachers. YogaDawg eventually triumphs in the discovery of the One True Yoga as he ascends the highest peak of the Himalayas and throws down the tablets of the false Yogas. Riveting... Sri K. Pattabhi Jois Original and Pithy... Bill O'Riley Makes me want to do Yoga... President George W. Bush The character of the King was really funny... Geeta Iyengar I want to be a Yoga Movie Star!!! Rodney Yee Shut up Rodney and go into Child's pose...Colleen Saidman Paris Does YogaDawg, Again Fez Moran For Yoga Celeb News Paris Hilton, celebratant extraordinaire, was photographed by the paparazzi accompanying a long-haired, shaggy-bearded, dog-faced,’ Yogi’ to the Bodhi Tree bookstore in LA. With cameras clicking away, Hilton and her dogged sage conspicuously perused such weighty spiritual tomes such as “My Third Eye Itches” and “Who is YogaDawg" while buying multiple copies of her new CD, Dr. Psycho Lonely Rehab Kirtan Band. Hilton was dogged by the paps to a next door eatery, Urth Caffé, where they lapped chai and dug into the dog-eared books while fondling the every present CD by the YogaDawgs. Just before they got up to leave, they set off a flashbulb explosion as the guru offered Hilton a blessing by giving her a lick on the face. On the way out, the transcended starlet stopped in front of a young woman seated a couple tables over and presented her with a statue that looked like a dog meditating as well as the CD by the YogaDawgs. "Arf-arf," the new spiritual philanthropist yipped at the perplexed customer, adding for good measure, "bow-wow." The flowing-robed Canis Familiaris yogi added, "Woof". Curiosity, though of course, is who is the bearded, canine looking guru? Bets are toward a character named Guru YogaDawg who operates a website and sells yoga t-shirts over the site in the dog-eat-dog world of Yoga while living a dog’s-life in a skid row flophouse in downtown Portland, Oregon. The elusive and controversial YogaDawg has rarely been photographed and few, dog or otherwise, have actually seen him. Though shunned by famous Yoga Stars (who blame YogaDawg for lightening up the practice of Yoga and making people laugh in Yoga classes), a number of Hollywood and music stars, nonetheless, have apparently taken him as their guru. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton along with Tom Cruise have all had contact with him in the past, so the speculation is that this might be the real YogaDawg. “Hot digitty dog, this is sooooo exciting”, gushed Jeannie-Ji, manger of the Bodhi Tree. “Doggoneit, the heck with Paris, that YogaDawg makes me laugh,” she explained. “And I missed him the last time he was in LA. Photos of Paris Hilton with the elusive Guru YogaDawg	Yoga News You Got the Laughs Now Get the eBook I love your site....very funny!!....You are the Joel Mchale/Soup of Yoga - Kimberly Fowler - YAS I had a good graze through your web site and, apart from feeling jealous that I hadn't written some of it, enjoyed it immensely. - Edward Clark The snarky lovechild of "Yoga Journal" and "The Onion." - NaYoPracMo Bottom line, YogaDawg is genius. - *A Wave of a Wall That Holds Conversation* Love your site - funny!!! - David Newman (Durga Das) Genuine YogaDawg Gear YogaDawg Newsletter
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EternallyBlissfulYoga Magazine Yoga News Feed

All the Yoga related news that gives Yogis the fits.

Yoga Adjustments Banned in Kansas

Frank Zappato
For Yoga World News Report

In a move that is sure to galvanize the Yoga community, Kansas legislators voted yesterday to ban Yoga adjustments throughout the state of Kansas.

By an overwhelming vote, Kansas legislators passed a law to ban Yoga adjustments in the state that includes criminal penalties of up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. Vote count on the bill introduced by Kansas representative Peggy Longgosa (R-Madison) was 112-10 in the House and 36-4 in the Senate. Rep. Longgosa pushed the legislation after learning that not only were Yoga students being touched in Yoga classes across the state, but in some cases, were actually engaged in "partner Yoga". "We are sickened by this and we have stepped forward to protect the good citizens of Kansas".

Kansas is the only state in the U.S. to pass a specific criminal law banning Yoga adjustments, which until the November ban was ineffectually covered by the state anticruelty law. A Kansas legislator who tried to stall the bill (Rep. Bill Stillborn, D-Garnett) ultimately agreed that Yoga adjustments should be outlawed in Kansas, and voted for the final version of the bill, which is expected to be signed into law by Kansas Governor Bill Graves.

Aberrant behavior such as this is now banned in Kansas

Pistol Packin’ Yoga

Tex of San Antonio
For The San Antonio Yoga Gazette

A new variation of Yoga made its appearance recently when a Yogi in Texas initiated the world’s first gun mandatory Yoga studio. This studio requires all Yogis to carry a loaded weapon while practicing within the studio.

Earl of San Antonio, President of the Texas Association of Male Practitioners of Yoga known as TAMPOY (see Yoga Declared 'Not Gay") has initiated this guns only policy in his YoGuy Yoga studio because, as he explained, “I want to insure that Yoga studios don’t turn into defenseless shooting galleries. There are too many crazies, criminals and terrorists out there. I mean let’s face it, even some of those Yoga students coming to class don’t seem quite right in the head. It’s the ones with the lavender mats and pastel colored Yoga clothes that have me most concerned.”

Earl has developed a unique series of Yoga poses that seem to concentrate on the Yogi’s inner gun-fighter. The poses include the:

PistolPackingMamanasana
TriggerHappyansana
ShotInTheFootasana
LockAndLoadasana
OKCoralasana
SonOfAGunasana
PistolWhippedasana
ItchyTriggerFingerasana
StickUmUpasana
BangBangasana
NRAsana
PassTheAmmoasana
KillBambiasana
WhenGunsAreOutlawedOnlyOutlawsWillHaveGunsasana

When asked if a Yogi could practice in the studio if they don’t own a weapon, Earl replied, “Who the hell in America doesn’t own a gun? That’s the craziest ass shit I ever heard.”

Yogis practising ItchyTriggerFingerasana

Yoginis practising NRAsana

Earl of San Antonio teaching the finer points of StickUmUpasana.

Press Release - Movie Box Office Success - The One True Yoga

Betty Boopinski
For Yoga Entertainment Weekly

Helped by legions of Yogis, YogaDawg's Yoga action movie, "The One True Yoga" rose to top the weekend's domestic box office among plenty of competition. The picture took in $18.9 million in 3,465 engagements for a per-screen average of $7,747.

That was enough to edge out "Leatherheads" which opened at No. 2 with $16.1 million from 2,678 playdates. "The One True Yoga" dug into "Leatherheads" shimmer as both pictures aimed to draw primarily male audiences. But "The One True Yoga" won the weekend by also bringing in an amazing amount of Yoginis (female practitioners of Yoga) as word of mouth about this Yoga movie made its way through Yoga studios around the world with the word that YogaDawg, himself, would be appearing in the film.

"We see this as the blog conversation or water-cooler conversation of the week," said YogaDawg distribution head Carlson Venuten of the picture's crossover appeal. "This film is so creative, so fresh and different. There's so much competition that in this marketplace you have to delineate yourself".

Starring Ana Forrest as the Temptress, BKS Iyengar as the King, Ana Brett as the Exotic Virgin, Bikrum Choudary as the Court Jester (Rodney Yee was the original choice for Court Jester but it was decided that he would have trouble transitioning between the small screen of Yoga videos to the big screen) and YogaDawg himself as the Wandering Student Yogi; this film chronicles the journey of a new student of Yoga through the wily world of Yoga Schools and studios. Fighting hypocrisy and rampant commercialism of the Yoga world, YogaDawg fights pitched battles with the founders of Yoga schools, Yoga Zealots and 200 hour teacher trained Yoga Teachers. YogaDawg eventually triumphs in the discovery of the One True Yoga as he ascends the highest peak of the Himalayas and throws down the tablets of the false Yogas.

Riveting... Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

Original and Pithy... Bill O'Riley

Makes me want to do Yoga... President George W. Bush

The character of the King was really funny... Geeta Iyengar

I want to be a Yoga Movie Star!!! Rodney Yee

Shut up Rodney and go into Child's pose...Colleen Saidman

Paris Does YogaDawg, Again

Fez Moran
For Yoga Celeb News

Paris Hilton, celebratant extraordinaire, was photographed by the paparazzi accompanying a long-haired, shaggy-bearded, dog-faced,’ Yogi’ to the Bodhi Tree bookstore in LA. With cameras clicking away, Hilton and her dogged sage conspicuously perused such weighty spiritual tomes such as “My Third Eye Itches” and “Who is YogaDawg" while buying multiple copies of her new CD, Dr. Psycho Lonely Rehab Kirtan Band.

Hilton was dogged by the paps to a next door eatery, Urth Caffé, where they lapped chai and dug into the dog-eared books while fondling the every present CD by the YogaDawgs. Just before they got up to leave, they set off a flashbulb explosion as the guru offered Hilton a blessing by giving her a lick on the face.

On the way out, the transcended starlet stopped in front of a young woman seated a couple tables over and presented her with a statue that looked like a dog meditating as well as the CD by the YogaDawgs. "Arf-arf," the new spiritual philanthropist yipped at the perplexed customer, adding for good measure, "bow-wow." The flowing-robed Canis Familiaris yogi added, "Woof".

Curiosity, though of course, is who is the bearded, canine looking guru? Bets are toward a character named Guru YogaDawg who operates a website and sells yoga t-shirts over the site in the dog-eat-dog world of Yoga while living a dog’s-life in a skid row flophouse in downtown Portland, Oregon. The elusive and controversial YogaDawg has rarely been photographed and few, dog or otherwise, have actually seen him. Though shunned by famous Yoga Stars (who blame YogaDawg for lightening up the practice of Yoga and making people laugh in Yoga classes), a number of Hollywood and music stars, nonetheless, have apparently taken him as their guru. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton along with Tom Cruise have all had contact with him in the past, so the speculation is that this might be the real YogaDawg.

“Hot digitty dog, this is sooooo exciting”, gushed Jeannie-Ji, manger of the Bodhi Tree. “Doggoneit, the heck with Paris, that YogaDawg makes me laugh,” she explained. “And I missed him the last time he was in LA.

Photos of Paris Hilton with the elusive Guru YogaDawg