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Yoga Studio Locations

As you continue your journey as a yogi, you will begin to seek out interesting and enlightened yoga studios, but first, you have to know where to find them. The location of these yoga studios will most likely be in a neighborhood where drug dealers and thugs once ran amok. The area was once blighted and shunned by the good citizens of the city, but is now swarming with yuppies, bobos (bourgeois bohemians), and yogis with brightly colored mats. The purifying effect of the yoga scene and yoga itself has the power to run even the most hardened criminal out of the area. The progression of an area from hellhole to yoga heaven happens in the following way:

Phase 1: Area has decayed into lawlessness and has become uninhabitable. Booze, drugs, random killings, rapes, muggings, chaos, and mayhem occur day and night. There is a great possibility that if you happen to wander into the area, you will be murdered.

Phase 2: Artists looking for large, cheap space discover the area and establish art studios. A ”scene” develops and gets written up in art magazines. The articles are faxed or e-mailed free to urban developers. Some artists get killed, mugged, or raped, but this eventually tapers off. The yuppies and bobos drive down to look at the freaks, um, I mean artists. Some get out of their SUVs to sit briefly in one of the bohemian coffee shops or bars. They make sure to leave the area before it gets dark and feel quite adventurous doing this. Watch for words like “transitional area” in the local papers to know that you are in Phase 2.

Phase 3: Hearing about the artists, courageous yuppies, and their fellow bobos, the developers sense that the area is safe enough for development. A police presence starts to materialize. The artists are no longer being killed, mugged, or raped, and the homeless have been carted to homeless shelters in the next neighborhood.

Phase 4: The developers test the water by fixing up a couple of storefronts. These are quickly turned into trendy nightclubs, boutiques, and restaurants, where the artists start to hang out and wax nostalgically about how the neighborhood is being sold out. Starbucks establishes a beachhead here and slowly drives the original bohemian coffee shops out of business.

Boarded up townhouses are suddenly renovated and inhabited by yuppies while the original denizens and squatters of the area are driven out. Yuppies fixing up the townhouses call themselves “urban pioneers.” To other people who live in the area or have been driven out, they are known as “yuppie gentrification scumbags.”

The area soon becomes a "neighborhood" and suddenly has an actual name attached to it. This is a bit hard to get used to because the area has always been referred to as “that hellhole of existence down there.” Watch for the word “gentrification” in the local papers to know that you are in Phase 4.

Phase 5: The artists move out because they can no longer afford to live here. Condos are built with a minimum price of $500,000 per unit. Yoga studios are established on every other block (usually next to the Starbucks).

 

 

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