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Karmic Klutter Syndrome (KKS)

 

YogaDawg, the leader in Karma Management techniques is pleased to announce a new program that is helping people live happier lives by managing their Karmic Klutter tm

Are you experiencing bad luck, misfortune and personal suffering in your life? Do you feel sad, scattered, listless with a lack of energy? Are your antidepressants failing you? Well, you may have Karmic Klutter Syndrome (KKS) and not even know it.


SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

Sufferers of KKS report symptoms such as welts, dry heaves, piles, unexplained weeping, sneezing, wheezing , halitosis, lumps, bumps, the frumps, dry humps, dumb looks, dumb luck,  plantar warts, the willies, the nillies and the heebie-jeebies.

This condition is nothing to be ashamed of. Millions of everyday, ordinary people, just like yourself experience KKS. Unfortunately, they let the condition go on and on, sometimes for hundreds of lifetimes. We at the YogaDawg Karmic Klutter Research Center (YKKRC) know that one does not need to suffer this fate.

It is now possible to reduce Karmic Klutter tm, sometimes in as little as two weeks. Our remarkable staff of Karmic Kounselors tm has proved remarkable successful in clearing Karmic Klutter tm from our clients to help them achieve a true Klutter-Free Karmic tm existence.


Our staff is always on call

 

Our clients have noticed remarkable achievements in their lives. Some have gone on from being pretentious bores to becoming stars in life; others have gone from being yoga students to becoming b-list yogis; a few have even joined the circus. One client recently reported to be next in line for the position of Dalai Lama.

For a small co-pay you will receive our valuable Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique and learn the steps to Kreative Karmic Konditioning tm.

Limited Time Special Offer: To the first 1,000 clients signing up for Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique, you will receive, absolutely free, the patented Karmic Klutter Klever Kutter tm to help you really cut through the Karma Klutter tm.

 

Remember that the Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique is the first and only treatment for KKS.


TRAINED STAFF

Our staff is directed by the two disciples of YogaDawg, MadDawg and his lovely wife Hotdawg, who oversee a network of certified Karma Klutter Kounselors tm. All treatment takes place in our special Karmic Konditioned tm rooms


HotDawg and her handsome husband, MadDawg, the two deciples of Guru YogaDawg


Reduce your misfortune level. Stop paying for a past lives. What goes around doesn't have to come around with the Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique


ENJOY THSES BENEFITS

Reduce Personal Suffering 50-90%
Eliminate Bad Luck in 2 - 4 weeks
Control Future Reincarnations
Avoid An Ill Fated Destiny


Remember that soul ownership is not required for the Kut Karma Klutter tm technique

 

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Metaphysicists believe the condition KKS typically develops when a person’s karma becomes compromised, leaving sufferers feeling less than best. The Kut Karma Klutter technique works by clearing stray karmas from building up in the chakra pathways and causing karmic blockage. Once cleared, the karmic sufferer gains a greatly improved sense of well-being and the ability to enjoy the benefits of their diminishing future lifetimes.


WHAT TO EXPECT

The Karma Klutter tm techniques offers the opportunity to live future incarnations to their fullest. You may experience a desire to do things in this lifetime that you thought of putting off till next or several lifetimes down the road. You can expect to feel the effects almost immediately and several have reported winning the lottery soon after treatment.

SELF-DISCOVERY THROUGH THE KARMA KLUTTER TECHNIQUE

The Karma Klutter tm technique helps sufferers see that no matter how much they have less is more.
Clients have reported:
• bouts levitation and levity
• increased ability to understand what animal are saying to them
• invisibility
• the ability to raise the dead
• improved social attention-getting skills
• able to complete the Ashtanga 5th series
• ability to leap buildings in a single bound
• x-ray vision


What Are You Waiting For?


Feel how good it is to be free of Karmic Klutter tm

 

How do I get help for KKS?
The first step is to talk with your yoga teacher. Explain the symptoms you've been experiencing. The teacher may recommend an asana adjustment to determine whether there is an underlying physical reason for your symptoms. Your teacher may make a referral to a YogaDawg affiliated Karma Kounseler tm

I just started treatment for my KKS. How long should it take for the Kut Karmic Klutter to start working?
The first goal of treatment is to relieve the symptoms of KKS that are disrupting your life. Symptom relief usually begins in a couple of weeks when starting treatment. Causation relief, on the other hand, is ongoing.

I have been in treatment for KKS for a while now and am feeling better than ever. How long so I need to continue treatment?
The recommended length of treatment with KKS tends to be indefinite. One of the long-term goals of treatment is to keep KKS from troubling you again. The Karmic Klutter tm technique is awaiting approval by leading spiritual leaders for long-term use.


Happy Karmic Klutter-free clients

What if I decide to go off treatment?
No one likes to stay on treatment any longer than they have to, but if you stop treatment too soon, it could interfere with your recovery and progress. More importantly, as with many treatments, symptoms may result from stopping the medication, particularly when abrupt. Some clients have experienced symptoms including: floppiness, limbic atrophy, sensory disturbances (including electric shock sensations and tinnitus), blue balls (in males), uncontrolled sighning,  financial lactation, silent weeping and genital twitching.

I've heard some things recently about the Karmic Klutter technique and suicide". Where can I get more information about that?
The Karmic Klutter technique is not associated with suicide. You may be confusing this technique with the “techniques” practiced in Bikram Yoga.

I've heard some things recently about " the Karmic Klutter technique and sociopathology". Where can I get more information about the social effects of the Karmic Klutter technique ?
The Karmic Klutter technique does not increase antisocial behavior in the patient. It may decrease the patient's sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. This is not out of the guidelines established for advanced yogic techniques



IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

Problems can be avoided if you use the Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique only when you are able to immediately benefit from its effects. To fully benefit from the Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique clients are encouraged to engage in activities requiring exceptional mental, motor, and consumptive coordination. The the Kut Karmic Klutter tm technique is not for you if you have abruptly stopped using alcohol or sedatives. The technique should be done indefinitely. Side effects may include uncontroled sighing, Blue Balls (in males), Necrotizing Fasciitis, dermal gloss, impulsivity induced consumption, silent weeping, PrPSc, excessive nasel hair growth (in females), Capgras Syndrome, inter-species communication and a complusion to only eat masa ball soup. Very rarely users may experience a need to change yoga styles.


TESTIMONIALS

"I should have cut my Karmic Klutter years ago" - Yogi

 

"It helping me get rid of my bandana" - Yogi

 

"See, I'm not nuts, just karmically kluttered." - Star

 

"It helps clear the snots from my nose" - Yogi

 

"I did, so now I can" - President

 

"Ha ha a ha ha ha ha ha ha ahhhhhhhhh" - Spiritual Dude

 

The YogaDawg Karmic Klutter Research Center (YKKRC) is a holy owned subsidiary of the non-profit YogaDawg Foundation.

 

Contents Copyright © 2006 YogaDawg.com