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Yoga Studio Design


It is never too soon to think about owning your own yoga studio and becoming rich and famous on the back of the yoga boom. If you are inclined to do so, you will need to follow some well-established rules to make your studio a success. If you adhere to these proven guidelines that YogaDawg is about to reveal, you will be well on you way to joining that elite crowd of yoga royalty.


Location, Location, Location

You want to establish your studio in the hip, neo-bobo area of your city or town. This will be quite easy to find as you simply count the number of Starbucks in any given neighborhood. Those with the highest number in a 10 square block radius are your ideal location, as their clientele will quickly become your clientele. Another method is to count the number of black-clothed, tight and trendy young hipsters that pass in any given hour. A high number indicates that the area has the potential of being yogically hip and thus will raise the possibilities that many of them will end up in your studio. These bobo yoga wanna-bes will certainly be clamoring for the current hot thing to impress each other with, which in this case happens to be yoga. Lucky you!

You next want to concentrate on the actual building of your studio. Look for a funky, broken-down building that somehow got overlooked in the gentrification of the neighborhood. Don’t be concerned by the run-down or shoddy appearance, as YogaDawg will explain several strategies for getting your new studio in operating condition.

To save on expenses, consider recruiting your friends and family to help fix up the place. You can offer food, beer, or free yoga lessons in exchange for their work on your studio. Also, a lucrative source of free help is the studio assistant. Though this person will also come in handy later on once your studio is open for business, right now your goal is to recruit one or more of them to help you fix up the dive you just leased. To get these studio assistants to work hard for you, you must learn the art of Studio Owner BS (SOBS).

Begin the process of enticing candidates into your yoga enterprise by extolling the virtues of Karma Yoga or service to a higher cause. If you are skillful enough in the practice of SOBS, you will be able to point out how their selfish, self-centered existence that is mired in delusion can lead to yogic enlightenment by helping you fix up your studio. Beware, however, as you will need them later on as paying customers. Be careful not to lay it on too thick, as they may actually begin to feel enlightened and perhaps start their own religion, thus depriving you of a potential revenue stream.

If you feel resistance to this ploy of Karma Yoga, then offer the tried-and-true method of exchanging yoga classes for hours worked in the studio. In extremely difficult cases where neither of these work, you will use the ultimate SOBS method: promise to have sex with them. This is especially effective when you need to have some major work completed, such as demolition or heavy construction. Anything involving such things as knocking down connecting walls, installing sheetrock or reinforcement of the entire structure, would warrant this method. Always remember that by the time the studio assistant gets close to cashing in on your offer, you can rest assured that he will be completely burned out. Also keep in mind that you can implement phase two of this method: the discouragement phase--increasingly act like a complete bitch as he comes closer to completing the work. Hopefully by the time he finishes, he will be completely repulsed by you.

In any event, try to find geeky guys who wear glasses and don’t have a life, as this method seems to work best on that type.


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